The Prat and the Idiot
by DuchessofYork
Summary: continuing the 'amazing' adventures of Camelot's favourite couple     ps: thank you for your reviews! I never expected this much feedback!
1. Chapter 1

The 1st time was on Arthur's birthday. Both were a tad tipsy as they staggered into Arthur's chambers late that night. Yes, it was a grand banquet of course – Arthur is, after all, the Crown Prince! And so it was that Merlin tried to undress the Prince as the Prince began to do a little dance while humming a silly tune. In all the excitement, they somehow got tangled up in the robes and ended up falling onto Arthur's big bed. Laughing hard, Merlin tried to wriggle out from under Arthur. Arthur however pinned Merlin down and hissed _"...hmm...you smell like cinnamon...and I LOVE cinnamon!"_ With that, he dove in capturing Merlin's lips. The kiss was strong, filled with lust, so wanting and yet so chaste. Before long their clothes were ripped and scattered on the floor. As the hours passed, the two of them lay back. Both breathing hard, sweat glistening their naked bodies. Of course the next day brought about a massive hangover...

The 2nd time was after battling the dragon. Arthur confronted Merlin in private  
_"...I heard you talking to...to Balinor...he was your father...which would mean that..."  
"Yes, Arthur...I'm a Dragon-Lord..."  
"...and a sorcerer...god, why didn't you tell me before?"  
"..and what would YOU have done? Reported me to your father...have me burnt at the stake?"  
"..well...no...I...we could have just eloped..."  
_Needless to say, this led to the usual banter, which led to the usual name-calling / insults. Which eventually led to kissing. And more kissing. And Arthur holding Merlin against the wall while their tongues did the Twist. (Well, you get the picture!) If their 1st time was already a secret they swore to take to their graves...

The 3rd time – ah! Like two teenagers sneaking out on a date – Merlin told Gaius he was going to pick herbs. Arthur told his father he was going riding. Both met by the lake for a swim. The swim was nice. Cool water on a hot summer's day. After the swim, they sat on the faded blanket that was spread out on the ground. Merlin opened the picnic basket and handed Arthur some bread. Arthur politely refused saying _"Let's have dessert instead!"_ (We all know what he meant!) Oh yes, Arthur liked cinnamon indeed...especially if it was sprinkled over Merlin!

4th? 5th? 6th? (What, you were counting?)


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't take long before the Knights found out: whenever they accompanied Arthur on his travels, the Prince always insisted that Merlin rode with them too (sometimes on the Prince's horse); when a certain Sir Galahad seemed to be flirting with Merlin, Arthur almost killed the Knight with his bare hands. By then, the Knights knew that Merlin was off limits – 'Property of Arthur Pendragon', with the hickeys to prove it! _"If you so much as whisper MY man-servant's name in your sleep, I'll have you in chains!"_ And knowing his (obviously inherited) temper, you won't want to cross Arthur of Camelot. The servants knew, of course – the occasional breakfast for two, sent to Arthur's chambers after sunrise; finding a certain bright red neckerchief among Arthur's pile of laundry; strange noises coming from the guest rooms in the middle of the afternoon.

Morgana used to wonder why Arthur walked around with a smirk _"Top of the morning to you, Morgana!"_ Arthur would say while bowing. _Oh my, she thought, Arthur must be on hemp! _Then she began to notice how Arthur looked at Merlin every time the man-servant walked into the room. More than one occasion, she caught them snogging in the armoury. _So THIS is Arthur's drug, she chuckled to herself._

As for Gwen – well, how could you keep something like this from your best friend?  
_"You're shagging Arthur?"  
"SHH! Gwen! You don't have to tell the whole castle about it!"  
"Since when?"  
"...er...since...the prat turned 21?"  
*smack* "..and you ONLY decided to tell me NOW?"  
"OUCH! Gwen...!"_

Quite often, Gaius would wonder why Merlin smelt like he had spent the night with the horses. Merlin would say that he tripped on a rake and fell onto the haystack _"Again? Merlin...why can't you be more careful?"_ Eventually, Gaius found out. Well, he actually walked in on them one morning...when he came to wake Merlin up. He then sat the two of them down and gave them a LONG talk about safe-sex! Then, Hunith found out too. Arthur and Merlin had taken a weekend trip to Ealdor. The minute she greeted them at the door, Hunith took one look at the blonde royal and cleared her throat. _"So how long have you been sleeping with my son?"_ Merlin cringed. Arthur was mortified. (Mothers know best, don't they?)


	3. Chapter 3

Master and Servant? Oh, no...it was much more than that. They were at each other's throats once. Then they became friends. Then...well...Sexual tension perhaps? But is it right for a Prince to have such feelings towards his man-servant? Then again, can you blame the said Prince? With all those hours they spent together...and the Prince never really had a friend. His Knights were loyal out of sheer obligation. Not that they resented the Prince; his royal highness was just a difficult person to please. But that changed...after a certain doe-eyed young lad came to Camelot. Somehow, said doe-eyed young lad had brought about a change in the Prince.

He couldn't understand it: why every time his man-servant walked into the room, his heart beat faster; or why every time they touched, he felt 'fire'. He tried to brush it off, sometimes staring down at his man-servant. But whenever their eyes met, time seemed to stop. And when his man-servant turned different shades of red, the Prince felt the heat on his own cheeks too. How is it that you can miss someone so much, even when the said person is in the same room with you? The Prince wanted to seek advice from the court elders...but what would they say if he told them about said feelings for his dark-haired servant? Worse, what if they told his father about it?

Yes, said man-servant was a bumbling idiot. But he was the Prince's Idiot (perhaps he should invent a title for his crush). Crush? No. How could he? He's the Prince! A Prince can NEVER have such feelings for a servant! (But you can't tell your heart who to love) Love? LOVE? Was this really...love? Should he be honest and confess to his man-servant? What if said man-servant panicked and left? Suddenly, the Prince couldn't imagine life without said man-servant...

* * *

Apprentice to the Court Physician. Yes, this was what he was to become. Having left his own sleepy-hollow, here he was – in Camelot. Bright and early, walking with pride into the famed city, smiling and greeting everyone in his path. Until he bumped into a certain pompous blonde – who was picking mercilessly on a skinny peasant. Oh, what a bully! Perhaps he should teach this bully a lesson! Of all the people he should pick a fight with – the Crown Prince of Camelot!

So much for his first day at Camelot. By the end of the evening, this lad found himself being a man-servant to none other than the royal bully himself! Tough luck! Perhaps said royal bully will forget about that little incident this morning...ok, maybe not...seeing as how long the list of duties are...sigh! Might as well put on a brave front and face it.

Fine. So said Prince (read: PRAT) is not only a bully, he's also rude, stubborn, condescending...and he has the loveliest blue eyes in the whole of Camelot (Did he just say that?). Anyway, being man-servant to a Crown Prince wasn't all that difficult – if it didn't involve dressing/undressing him and preparing his bath! There MUST be a spell to abstain himself from such lewd thoughts about this Prince. Maybe he should ask Gaius...no, Gaius can't know that he's lusting after his Master! It's...it's almost like...treason! But then, how could he NOT STARE at that muscular body? Or, how his fingers tingle as they brush against that mass of blonde hair, whenever he helps said Prince put on/remove his tunic? This is far worse than the treat of being burnt alive!


	4. Chapter 4

**In and Around Camelot...**

_(Gaius and the Inn-keeper)  
_"You look weary, Gauis! Do sit down a while..."  
"Thank you, but I must be on my way...that apprentice of mine has wandered off again...sigh!"  
"You mean Merlin? Ah, he was just here last night...with his cousin!"  
"Cousin? Merlin doesn't have a cousin..."  
"Oh? Well then, perhaps I was mistaken. But I'm quite sure it was Merlin...and that other chap. He seems a...a rather wealthy chap too...wanted a room for the night and paid me in gold!"

* * *

_(The Knights)  
_"Did you see that? The Prince actually carried his man-servant off the horse!"  
"What? No!"  
"I saw it too...*chuckle*"  
"Yesterday at training, he was in a foul mood. The poor boy took such a beating in spite of the armour. But later I heard him apologising to the boy in the stables"  
"Arthur...APOLOGISED to his SERVANT? Maybe the Prince took an extra hard blow to his head!"

* * *

_(The Peasants and Farmers)  
_"I've seen them walking hand in hand in the woods."  
"Oh, poppycock!"  
"I swear by my own life! There's something going on between the Prince and that servant of his!"  
"I hear they're in love..."  
"Really? I wonder what the King will say..."  
"..IF the King found out..."  
"Now, you two stop that gossip! What the Prince does is NONE of our business!"

* * *

_(Morgana and Gwen)  
_"No, milady...I never noticed"  
"Oh really, Gwen! Why do you think Merlin wears that ridiculous neckerchief ALL THE TIME?"  
*both girls burst into a fit of giggles*

* * *

_(Morgana and Arthur, at the Royal Banquet)  
_*elbows Arthur* "Stop undressing Merlin with your eyes!"  
*sits up with a start* "I wasn't! Really Morgana...get your head out of the gutter!"

* * *

_(At the Tavern)  
_*Gwain waves to the bartender* "My good man! See that boy over there? Send him a pint for me, please!"  
*bartender serves Merlin a fresh pint* "Compliments from the gentleman in the dark tunic...in the corner!"  
"Oh...thank you!" *blush*  
*Arthur glares at the man in the dark tunic* "The nerve...!"


End file.
